Crown Of Thorns...

(The scene opens up to Kevin Devastation standing alone next to what seems to be an open grave in a cemetery that seemingly is far away from society in a desert. Kevin Devastations black corvette is backed up to the grave as he has a clip board in his hand. He reaches into his suit jacket pocket and pulls out a golden pen and opens it and sees the camera. So he motions for it to come over.)


Kevin Devastation: Looks like the lime light even follows K-Double all the way out here. And I thought I was gonna have a small ceremony for the other people in the Extreme battle royal at Barbed Consequences. But I guess even these guys need some kind of plug by somebody who is actually watchable on TV. So I guess we should begin with a small prayer for these guys who will be Buried on Friday. Bow your heads everybody...


(Kevin Devastation bows his head as the camera lowers itself signifying that the cameraman has bowed as well.)

Kevin Devastation: And god said those who will be first will be last, so therefore K-Double will be the last man in the ring, and the first man to bury somebody in AWO. Amen!

(Kevin Devastation raises his head up again and smiles that cocky infamous Kevin Devastation smile. And laughs a bit before he continues.)

Kevin Devastation: First on this list here seems to be some total tool named Xenon Byers...I'm not sure how to approach this kid, I mean his only real accomplishment in anything is calling himself a young hip guy who likes to stand around and spray hairspray and attempt to wrestle in K-doubles ring. Sounds like your average every day jack wagon to me people, but hey I can not say to much about this guy. I mean I used to enjoy watching the ozone get destroyed by aerosol back when I had long hair, but then again back then I was some young punk...well never was a punk but you get the picture. I was young and knew nothing...well I have always known everything. Damn I guess I can say a lot of stuff about this dude, because he is exactly what I never was even on my worst day on this planet. And that is a young little joker who knows nothing and thinks of himself as a man. Well news flash kid, you are NOT a man, you are a BOY and you will get spanked in front of everybody at Barbed Consequences by the Extreme Champion Kevin Devastation.....BURIAL!!!

(Kevin Devastation takes the pen in his hand and puts a check mark on the paper that's on it. And Kevin then looks down and sees the next name and looks confused...)

Kevin Devastation: Drake Speaks? Well from the looks of it he must like to try and talk a big game. But hey not everybody can be a K-Double and know how to HAVE a big game, so I guess that I can know what he would be talking about if I thought things instead of knowing them. But I have heard that this dude hates people like me, who know that we are the best that's ever graced a ring. But yet at the same time he TRIES to be the guy that acts that way. But like anything else in life people, you gotta feel it in your heart and soul before it can truly happen. Or in my case since my heart is as black as an ace of spade and my soul was sold long ago to the devil for my damn good looks and my damn great ability's in the ring, on this mic, and hell at every damn thing else I do. Oh and Drake, you can go ahead and bring your little old putter to the ring and attempt to hit a hole in one on me...except you can not do that with a putter, and if you even try to I will be forced to take my Shovel and crack you square in that screwed up little chipmunk face you got.....BURIAL!!!!!

(Kevin Devastation takes the pen again and puts another check mark on the paper. And looks up at the sun for a second and shakes his head before looking back down at the paper. Kevin Devastation then looks at the camera.)

Kevin Devastation: Jeph Hero.........You look like somebody took some throw up and put a pair of pink trunks on it, please just stay home kid before you get hurt.....BURIAL!!!!!

(Kevin Devastation looks back at his clip board and then puts another check mark on it and looks for the next name. And then he simply looks down and sighs.)

Kevin Devastation: I guess this next guy did not get the memo, and that memo saying that Halloween has been over for months and the next one does not come along for awhile. But hey I guess some retards like to play dress up every single day just for the fun of it because they know they would never be accepted in real society by upper class Godlike people like myself. Or hell even some idiot little fool like Flavor freakin Flav would not accept this dude. Vengeance I honestly think you need to seek professional help kid, because YOU like to wear make up and go out with a cape on while wearing all black and red. It was cool when KISS did it back in the day, but now its just sad for anybody to ever attempt to try that. So please hang up the cape there pseudo-batman and give mommy back her make-up and get the hell away from K-Double and his Extreme Championship. Your gonna scare away all the people from seeing me in my glory.....BURIAL!!!!!

(Kevin Devastation puts down another check mark on his paper on his clipboard and looks up again at the camera. He shrugs his shoulders and looks on.)

Kevin Devastation: Ultra Destroyer, sounds very star wars style there fat boy. But I guess since you look like a forty year old guy who wears a storm trooper outfit daily while he watches porn I guess it works. So I give you a A for being a complete and total fan boy. Oh and I thought that I would mention to you that while you mentioned me last time you decided to open that rank, stank hole you call a mouth...more like a garbage disposal, but hey tic tacs were made for a reason...But back to what I was gonna say before I almost passed out at the thought of your breath. You say that I "think" highly of myself, and that sir is very wrong. Kevin Devastation does NOT think highly of himself. I just know for a fact that I am everything that I have ever said I am. This includes me saying I am the Most Hated Man That Has Ever Lived, and the fact that I am exactly what I have been for years. And that is God.....BURIAL!!!!!

(Kevin Devastation very sarcastically and very quickly makes another check mark on the paper. Kevin Devastation then clips the pen to the clipboard and acts as if his right hand hurts from all the writing he has been doing. Then he smiles at the camera and unclips his pen and looks down at the clipboard again for his next name he is going to Bury...)

Kevin Devastation: Tevon Hunter.....You honestly think that by talking down to God that you are some kinda big shot around here? Or anywhere for that matter? You have nothing on me more than I am that I am, and that is your GOD and that is being myself in this damn company whether you or any of the other little idiots like it or not. Because I do love ME, I do worship ME, and I do see ME as the Extreme Champion after Barbed Consequences because I am that damn good, and I will show it this coming Friday on pay per view. Oh and Tevon next time you wanna try and open your damn mouth to ME about anything I do, you may want to actually research who you are talking to kid. Because next time you wanna try and step up to ME, you might just wanna get a ladder to climb up to my pedestal. Because from way up here your words aren't getting through clearly. But this next word will get through very clearly kid.....BURIAL!!!!!

(Kevin Devastation puts another check on his paper. And then realizes how many names he has left, then just smiles as he looks up at the camera.)

Kevin Devastation: Well to save some time I'm gonna group some people up together here. REX OMEGA, JASON ROGUE, LEX THUNDER, JACOB STEELE, JOEY SIMONE, LEBRON KINGSTON, MARTIN TAYLOR, KID KAOS, SHAWN VECTOR, WILLIAM BLACK, ALEX KROSS, ZEKE NERO, AND RANDY REAUME...

(Kevin Devastation puts 13 more checks on his paper. And then looks up again and takes a very deep breath...)

Kevin Devastation: Allow me to just speak a bit on these guys who I have never heard of, and allow me to tell you a bit about myself really. And allow me to tell you the questions I have gotten since signing to AWO. People have asked me for days, "Kevin Devastation why exactly are you in AWO? Why have you decided to step back in the ring in such a low ball organization?" And I honestly ask why in the hell is it any of their business. I ask why do they care that I'm back now more than any other time I've ever been anywhere. Because last time I checked you people never wanted to ask me questions like that, but more like you would ask me when I'm leaving again. And that makes me sick from every single person in this entire world who has ever followed my career. When I was on top of the world years ago you never looked around too see where I was next. But you'd look to see where I was going to be so you could vacate that place. You people don't deserve me here again but I am here for one thing and one thing only...

(Kevin Devastation wipes the sweat from his forehead and then adjusts his sunglasses before speaking again.)

Kevin Devastation: I'm back right now for the one thing I have never had in my career. I'm back for the one thing that has eluded me all these years. I'm back to finally show the world and AWO once and for all that no matter how many times I can leave a place I can come back and STILL get back on top at any time. I'm back to finally show the nameless jobbers in AWO that no matter how many times they can win a world title, a mid card title, or a tag title from some bunch of idiotic little guys. That he can NEVER beat me, and they can never even attempt to outdo me. And its reasons like that is why I have decided to screw AWO out of the Extreme title coming up on Friday when I eliminate and throw each and every little kid outta this MANs ring.

(Kevin Devastation goes over to his corvette and reaches into the trunk and pulls out a shovel with the handle engraved with D.O.A and he walks back over to the grave and stares into the camera with a confident smirk on his face.)


Kevin Devastation: I'm going to screw AWO out of its title simply because I HAVE TOO.... Kevin Devastation HAS TO BE THE ONE WITH PRIDE...Because if myself let somebody else win, then the match means NOTHING. Because Ive done it all before, Ive won every single belt Ive been in contention for, Ive won world titles, Ive been a triple crown champion, a grand-slam champion. And after every single accomplishment Ive left again because at the time there was nothing left for me to do. And when there was another challenge to overcome and another accomplishment to have in my belt. Guess who comes back yet again to prove why he truly is the greatest being to EVER grace the damn planet...Kevin Devastation. Because no matter how far down on the card I had to start at each and every time Ive come back, Ive done that and when I got what I wanted I left again. That's the story of the career of Kevin Devastation. And the story of the careers of everybody else in this damn match will be a different story.....

(Kevin Devastation throws the clipboard into the small grave and takes the shovel and starts to shovel the dirt into the grave. And Kevin Devastation keeps shoveling dirt until the clipboard is completely buried underneath its new earthy prison. And Kevin Devastation with a confident smirk takes off his sun glasses and shows his eyes and walks to the camera looking into it. )

Kevin Devastation: The story of the careers of everybody else in this match will be BURIED.....

(Kevin Devastation starts to turn away from the camera and then realizes he forgot something. He walks over to the trunk of his corvette again and then reaches in and grabs a bottle of wine and a glass. He already had the wine chilled and opened it seems but he pours himself a glass anyway. And he sips it before putting his hand through his hair. And Kevin Devastation looks to the camera again with a serious look on his face and says...)

Be Still...........

.......And Know.......

...........I Am GOD!!!!!!!!!!