Rikishi vs Hank Hanson.
Match Background: None.
The Match: Rikishi strikes Hank Hanson with a hard blow. Rikishi DDTs Hanson, but it just looked terrible. Covers for a quick two count. Hank Hanson elbows Rikishi in the face to break a hammerlock. Hank Hanson strikes Rikishi. Hanson slams Rikishi down. Rikishi is sure in trouble now. Hooks the leg for a two count. Hank Hanson scores with a poor standing spinebuster. Pin, but Rikishi is out just before the three count. Rikishi gets splashed in the corner. Rikishi elbows Hank Hanson in the face to break a hammerlock. Rikishi hits a sloppy double axe handle off the top. Covers for a quick two count. Rikishi scores with a crappy looking standing spinebuster. Could have been done a hell of a lot better though. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Rikishi with a badly-executed spinning neckbreaker on Hanson. One more performed that badly and this match will end on a bad note, if you get my drift. Uninspired brawling from Rikishi. Hanson ducks a wild right hand. Hank Hanson uses an armbreaker to take Rikishi down and applies an armbar. There's no quit in Rikishi yet though. Side suplex from Hanson. Hank Hanson moves in for the kill. Here it comes - Lady of the Lake. Rikishi taps..it's over.
WINNER: Hank Hanson
Shawn Michaels vs Chris Jericho.
Match Background: None.
The Match: Shawn Michaels hits a rolling kick on Jericho. Konnan has ruined any chance for me ever enjoying this maneuver again with his shitty execution of it. Flying cross body off the top rope! Hooks the leg for a two count. Jericho backdrops Shawn Michaels out of a piledriver attempt. That took a lot out of Chris Jericho. Chris Jericho strikes HBK. Flying elbow from Chris Jericho connects. Covers for a quick two count. Back heel kick off the second rope and HBK goes flying! Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Jericho uses a basement dropkick to the knee and it looks like it might be TIME TO GO TO SCHOOL~! HBK backdrops Chris Jericho out of a piledriver attempt. That took a lot out of Shawn Michaels. Shawn Michaels hits a bulldog off the ropes. There's a two count on the pin. Back heel kick off the second rope, Jericho goes down. Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Flying elbow from Shawn Michaels connects. Spinning back kick from Shawn Michaels. Shawn Michaels misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. Spin kick by Chris Jericho to the face sends the opponent FLYING across the ring. Tiger suplex on HBK. No Misawa references from me, I swear. Oh, Bloody Hell! Shawn Michaels hooks up a suplex, but it is blocked. Jericho scores with a low blow, then turns it into a small package! The referee didn't see the illegal blow! 1...2...3! Shawn Michaels got screwed out of the victory!
WINNER: Chris Jericho
Phillip Phillips vs Christian.
Match Background: This match is for the WWE Intercontinental title. Phillip Phillips has been WWE Intercontinental champion since 03 May 2012.
The Match: Forearm to the face from Phillip on Christian. Phillip snapmares Christian and goes for the DREADED chinlock. Christian takes a knee lift from Phillip. *sigh* Running knee lifts always remind me of the late Curt Hennig. Phillip Phillips arm drags Christian over and locks on an armbar. Christian powers out of a Phillip Phillips headlock. Hard impact Russian Leg Sweep by Christian. According to some other reviewers around here, 'legsweep' is one word. Massive back suplex! Phillip Phillips got snapped in half, but not literally because that would just end the match now wouldn't it. Hooks the leg for a two count. Phillip Phillips is able to duck a clothesline attempt and connect with a counter clothesline. Phillip tries to channel the power of Kawada, but ends up channeling the power of Trish Stratus instead by hitting a high kick on Christian. Covers for a quick two count. Slingshot clothesline by Phillip, who almost messed it up by slipping on the ropes. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Phillip Phillips misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. Spinning back kick from Christian. Phillip Phillips is able to duck a clothesline attempt and connect with a counter clothesline. Flying elbow from Phillip Phillips, grazing the target slightly. Christian is in trouble. Here it comes - Phillips Screwdriver. 1....2...3, it's finished.
WINNER: Phillip Phillips
The Cole Coalition vs La Resistance.
Match Background: Cole Scorpio is the reigning World Heavyweight champion, and has been since 24 June 2012. The Cole Coalition are the reigning WWE Tag Team champions, and have been since 18 June 2012.
The Match: Cole hits a dropkick on Sylvan Grenier. Actually, it barely touched! Back heel kick from Cole on Grenier but it misses by miles. Hooks the leg for a two count. Cole tags out to Mike Cole. The Cole Coalition whip Grenier into the ropes and hit a double clothesline. Grenier tastes a high angle back suplex. If Spike Lee can sue TNN over the Spike TV nonsense, then Kurt Angle should be able to sue SOMEONE for that. Covers for a quick two count. Forearm to the face from Mike on Grenier. Grenier pushes out of a Mike Cole hold. Sylvan Grenier scores with a crappy looking standing spinebuster. Could have been done a hell of a lot better though. Grenier tags out to Rene Dupree. Flying shoulder tackle by Dupree sends Mike CRASHING to the mat. Spear by Rene Dupree. Mike Cole once again takes the advantage after blocking a few punches and connecting with some forearms. Mike tags out to Cole Scorpio. Cole tries to channel the power of Kawada, but ends up channeling the power of Trish Stratus instead by hitting a high kick on Rene Dupree. Flying knee to the face from Cole Scorpio. For the record it was more of a Rusty Wizard than a Shining one. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Dupree takes a chop from Cole. Cole walks into a drop toe hold. Spear by Rene Dupree. Cole scores with a forearm, sending Dupree down into the corner. The referee pulls Cole Scorpio away to get the break. Wait! Dupree has pulled something out of his tights. Cole Scorpio walks over...and gets floored by a punch! 1....2....3! The referee never saw the brass knuckles! Mike and Cole remain in the ring. Cole Scorpio does not look happy at losing. Mike Cole goes to leave, but gets pulled back in by Cole. Tensions seem to be rising between these two.
WINNER: La Resistance
Cole Scorpio vs Ryan Savage.
Match Background: Cole Scorpio is the reigning World Heavyweight champion, and has been since 24 June 2012.
The Match: Savage hits a back kick, doubling Coleover. Cole flips out of a Ryan Savage bodyslam attempt. Back heel kick from Cole on Savage. Slingshot clothesline by Cole, who almost messed it up by slipping on the ropes. Cole Scorpio moves in for the kill. Here it comes - Scorpio Bomb. Randy Reaume quickly comes running down the aisle and into the ring! Cole Scorpio turns around. Randy Reaume drops Cole to the canvas. Randy Reaume quickly locks on the Anaconda Vice! The referee calls for the DQ because of the interference of Randy! Ryan Savage slides to the outside and grabs a chair, then climbs back into the ring. Randy turns around...and gets planted with a huge chair shot to the head! He is left down and out on the canvas.
WINNER: Cole Scorpio via Disqualification
20 Man Battle Royal.
Match Background: None.
The Match: Flying elbow from Matt Hardy Version 1.0 connects. Matt tried to eliminate Chavo Guerrero, who hung onto the top rope for dear life! THERE IT IS! A legdrop to the BACK OF THE HEAD! I swear, that makes any match just a little bit better. I don't mind telling you that every time I see it, that's for sure. Eddie Guerrero kicks the leg, knocks Styles down, and goes to work on it. Implant DDT by Ultimo Dragon! I will always and forever mark out for that move. Ultimo threw Mike Cole over the top rope, but Mike Cole skinned the cat to save himself! Running knee lift from The Rock. Eddie Guerrero was eliminated by Rock. (Elimination # 1) Standing leg lariat by Billy Kidman on Hanson. Kidman threw Hank Hanson all the way over the top rope to the floor. No question about that one. (Elimination # 2) Redd gets slammed down hard and winces in pain. Matt Redd got eliminated by Goldust. (Elimination # 3) Rude Awakening neckbreaker on Phillip Phillips by Christian. Remember when that was a legit finish? Christian tried to eliminate Phillip Phillips, who hung onto the top rope for dear life! Matt Hardy Version 1.0 strikes Hurricane. Hurricane got eliminated by Matt. (Elimination # 4) Chavo Guerrero strikes Matt. Matt Hardy Version 1.0 got eliminated by Chavo. (Elimination # 5) Chris Benoit snap suplexes Kidman. Blind lariat by Benoit was downright NASTY! Kidman never...saw...it coming! Dropkick connects to the butt of the jaw and Goldust goes down. Styles threw Goldust all the way over the top rope to the floor. No question about that one. (Elimination # 6) Stun Gun from Chris Benoit! I still can't believe that was Austin's finisher at one point. AJ Styles just WALKS into a stiff lariat clothesline from Benoit. Running knee lift from John Cena. Cena scoops and slams Christian. What's the difference between a scoop slam and a body slam anyway? Mike walks into a high dropkick from Chris Jericho, almost losing several teeth in the process. Mike takes a flying neckbreaker from Chris Jericho. Booker takes a flying neckbreaker from AJ Styles. Booker T got bundled out by Styles. (Elimination # 7) Spinning bulldog in the corner and Randy is down! Styles threw Randy Reaume over the top rope, but Randy Reaume skinned the cat to save himself! Chavo uses a basement dropkick to the knee and it looks like it might be TIME TO GO TO SCHOOL~! Phillip Phillips got bundled out by Chavo. (Elimination # 8 ) Flying shoulder tackle by Christian sends Styles CRASHING to the mat. Christian went for the elimination, but AJ Styles held on to the ropes at the last possible second! AJ Styles connects with a back heel kick on Chavo and gets back up quickly. Vicious kick to the teeth from AJ Styles. Kidman tastes a high angle back suplex. If Spike Lee can sue TNN over the Spike TV nonsense, then Kurt Angle should be able to sue SOMEONE for that. Billy Kidman got tossed over the top rope to the floor HARD by Benoit. (Elimination # 9) Styles uses a basement dropkick to the knee and it looks like it might be TIME TO GO TO SCHOOL~! Ultimo Dragon got eliminated by Styles. (Elimination # 10) Mike Cole strikes Jericho. Chris Jericho got bundled out by Mike. (Elimination # 11) Leg trip from Mike Cole knocks the opponent down. The Rock got bundled out by Mike. (Elimination # 12) Chavo Guerrero strikes Mike. Chavo tried to eliminate Mike Cole, who hung onto the top rope for dear life! Second rope flying axe handle, Mike goes down. One day, Styles might even consider coming off the top with that. You know...for more impact and stuff. Dropkick connects to the butt of the jaw and Mike goes down. John Cena hits some punches. How generic. Christian got bundled out by Cena. (Elimination # 13) Chavo just WAFFLES Randy with a STIFF chop that hurt ME to watch! Chavo went for the elimination, but Randy Reaume held on to the ropes at the last possible second! Randy Reaume strikes Chavo. Chavo Guerrero got tossed over the top rope to the floor HARD by Randy. (Elimination # 14) Cena takes a kick to the chest, and staggers back. A blind charge only gets an even HARDER kick. Mike Cole nearly ends the career of Cena with a screwed up german suplex. GET AWAY FROM THE WRESTLING BUSINESS! Flying elbow from Mike Cole, grazing the target slightly. Mike threw John Cena all the way over the top rope to the floor. No question about that one. (Elimination # 15) Benoit drives a thrust kick into the chest of Punk. Benoit threw CM Punk all the way over the top rope to the floor. No question about that one. (Elimination # 16) STIFF high kick on Mike by Randy Reaume. Randy went for the elimination, but Mike Cole held on to the ropes at the last possible second! Randy just WAFFLES Benoit with a STIFF chop that hurt ME to watch! Randy uses a basement dropkick to the knee and it looks like it might be TIME TO GO TO SCHOOL~! Dropkick connects to the butt of the jaw and Mike goes down. Styles tried to eliminate Mike Cole, who hung onto the top rope for dear life! Randy takes a flying neckbreaker from AJ Styles. Styles just WAFFLES Randy with a STIFF chop that hurt ME to watch! Randy gets caught with a short powerbomb from Benoit. Benoit threw Randy Reaume over the top rope, but Randy Reaume skinned the cat to save himself! Big dropkick by Chris Benoit, who got a ton of air on the move. Benoit threw Mike Cole over the top rope, but Mike Cole skinned the cat to save himself! Big forearm by Chris Benoit makes me want to go to the mirror and check MY teeth. Benoit went for the elimination, but Randy Reaume held on to the ropes at the last possible second! Benoit drives a HARD forearm into the chest of Styles. AJ Styles got tossed over the top rope to the floor HARD by Benoit. (Elimination # 17) Spinning bulldog in the corner and Mike is down! Randy threw Mike Cole over the top rope, but Mike Cole skinned the cat to save himself! Chris Benoit snap suplexes Mike HARD to the canvas! And again! A pair of clotheslines follow and...yep, Benoit is a HOUSE...EN...FUEGO~! Benoit threw Mike Cole over the top rope, but Mike Cole skinned the cat to save himself! Standing leg lariat by Randy Reaume on Benoit. Chris Benoit got tossed over the top rope to the floor HARD by Randy. (Elimination # 18 ) Mike Cole DDTs Randy, but it just looked terrible. Mike hits a badly done swinging DDT on Randy Reaume. Randy ducks a wild right hand. Mike Cole got tossed over the top rope to the floor HARD by Randy.
Winner and #1 contender to the World Heavyweight Title at SummerSlam:
Read the match and find out, you damn skimmers.
