Instant Karma, just add milk.

red weymouth

where & when: red's house, 10:00 am


The scene opens up with a WEW cameraman getting out of his car, in front of a rather plain-looking house that looked like it was placed in some sort of suburban area. "I think this is the place," you could hear the cameraman mutter. The camera was recording all the while, as he walked through the yard and eventually made it to the oak front door. A few knocks, a pause, and a few heavier knocks. A mumbling is heard from behind the door, until the sound of latches opening is heard and the door swings open, revealing Red Weymouth in blue and white pinstripe pajamas.

the new buddha
RED WEYMOUTH:
"... Oh, hey man."

camera dude:
"Uhh... didn't you get a call last night saying that you were going to be interviewed for the website this morning?"

the new buddha
RED WEYMOUTH:
"Yeah, I just..."

Red turned around to look at his living room: incense ashes spilled all over the floor, green tea bags laying all over the coffee table, pot pie remnants on his floor and sofa, and Playstation controllers and games littering the entire area. He looked back at the cameraman nonchalantly.

the new buddha
RED WEYMOUTH:
"... got distracted. Anyway, come on in, I can talk and eat breakfast at the same time."

The cameraman nods and walks inside, being careful not to step on any food or fragile game discs. He followed Red to the next room over beside his living room: the kitchen. Red, seeming to almost forget the cameraman was there, reached up and grabbed a box of Lucky Charms and grabbed the milk out of the fridge, before mixing both in a bowl and sitting down in silence to eat, not even looking at the cameraman. The cameraman got tired of waiting and cleared his throat.

the new buddha
RED WEYMOUTH:
"What? Oh, you want some Lucky Charms?"

camera dude:
"No, I don't want any. I'm here to interview you. Can I get some opinions on your tag team match with Blaze Griffin versus Alex Jester and Nicole Hunt?"

Red spooned a large portion of cereal into his mouth, taking time to chew and swallow before answering.

the new buddha
RED WEYMOUTH:
"Well, we're going to win. I mean, I'm teaming with a guy named Blaze. He's probably got some red mist or fireballs or something, and I'm already pretty awesome in the ring, so it shouldn't be too much of a problem to take those two guys out."

camera dude:
"Well, I think you mean guy and girl. Nicole Hunt is in the match, after all, and that adds a unique element, wouldn't you think?"

Red, who was in mid-chew, almost starts choking on his cereal at the news. He hits himself on the chest a few times to clear himself out, and takes a big gulp of air before looking up at the cameraman.

the new buddha
RED WEYMOUTH:
"I'm facing a girl? I thought it was just a crossdresser! This changes everything... I don't know if I can hit a girl!"

Red gets up and puts the bowl of cereal in his sink, before putting both hands on the edge of his counter and looking down at it, seeming to have a moment of introspection. He grows a bit more of a determined look on his face, before nodding his head to himself.

the new buddha
RED WEYMOUTH:
"Great master Buddha said that all living things are as one, that the only thing that separates us is what we imagine separates us. So fighting a chick is just like fighting a guy, or a grizzly bear... yeah. So I can put her in a crossface chickenwing and not feel remorse, right? I mean, she's got extra chest padding, it probably won't hurt as much, right? Yeah! I'm gonna kick her ass!"

At this point, Red's voice was almost a royal shout, and the cameraman took a few steps back, not sure where the grandiose Weymouth was going with this.

camera dude:
"Well, I mean, that would be a good plan if you wanted to win. I'm sure your partner will be relieved to hear how quickly you got over your fear of wrestling women. Now, care to say anything to wrap up this interview?"

the new buddha
RED WEYMOUTH:
"Tomorrow night. Saturday Night Overdrive. Pyro Guy and the New Buddha versus Chick I Thought Wasn't a Chick and that other guy. Me and Blaze are gonna step in that ring and tear the house down, I can feel it, and I've never even met the guy, it's just this astral soul bond thing we have going on. I can hear it now: the fans going wild as I ascend the top turnbuckle, little kids with Red Weymouth shirts on about to crap their Spiderman underwear because they're seeing something so fantastic that words can't describe it— and then I jump, with the grace of a flock of doves leaving a magician's sleeve, and for a moment, time seems to stop as I hang in the air... slowly I descend, until time returns to normal and I crash back down on my foe! Instant Karma. 1. 2. 3."

Red holds three fingers up to the camera, a confident look in his eyes as the camera fades out to black.