ORLY!

Subject: ORLY! Sat Jun 23, 2012 6:12 am

The scene opens up onto a bright, sunny day. The perfect blue sky is cloudless, which in turn gives the sky to the sun. The camera pans down onto a funnily dressed man, who is wearing a bright lime green jacket with a black and white striped tank top underneath. His matching bell-bottoms and the accessorized belt which accompanies it flap gently as a breeze rolls through. The man is staring at the sun through his green wrap-around sunglasses, his mustached lip smiling. He turns, and his smile broadens.

Ringo McGazzler:
Hey! I didn't see you there! You should've said something!

Ringo smiles extending his hand. The man filming extends his hand awkwardly, wondering why this strange man thinks he was filming him.

Ringo McGazzler:
I'm sure you were just so starstruck that you couldn't speak. That's okay. You get used to that stuff, being as good-looking as me. Anyway, what's your name bro?!

The man shakes his hand free from the grip of the still-smiling man, who hadn't let go. He takes a few steps back, feeling a bit weird. He tells the man his name is Donald, and, if possible, he smiles even broader.

Ringo McGazzler:
OYAY! So, Dolan, I bet you're wanting my auto-graph, right? Lucky for you, I have a headshot of me right here...

Ringo reaches in his pants, and Donald covers his eyes. Not only did this man get his name wrong, but he's going to expose himself too? When he finally uncovers his eyes, he sees him signing the picture he took out of the crotch of his pants. Ringo finishes suddenly and thrusts the photo into Donald's hands, who grabs on. He immediately wishes he hadn't, remembering where it came from. McGazzler flashes another grin.

Ringo McGazzler:
Well I gotta jet, my man Daniel! Business needs to be attended to... but, hey. You don't mind if I use this, right?

Ringo reaches out and grabs the camcorder, making the picture shake. Donald is too confused to respond, and before he can, Ringo is gone, down the road, being carried by a hot pink bicycle.

TBCL: Ringo McGazzler

Subject: Re: ORLY! Mon Jun 25, 2012 2:34 am

The view of Ringo McGazzler's crotch is shaky as he tries to balance the camera and ride his new bicycle at the same time. He laughs, wondering what kind of person just leaves a perfectly good pink bike on the ground next to an ice cream truck. He hits a bump, and the camera pops up just enough to see a little girl crying, licking an ice cream cone, before falling back into Ringo's lap.

He suddenly pulls to a a skidding stop, and he picks up the camera and points at his face, the grin he always seems to have plastered across his face.

Ringo McGazzler:
Sorry about the view you guys had to deal with, and the ladies... you know where to find me. ERMAHGERD. I KNOW HIM!

Ringo is wide eyed as he runs over to a taco stand and points the camera at the person working there, a youngish Mexican lad. Ringo launches into a fast talking frenzy.

Ringo McGazzler:
Hey dude! Don't I know you from somewhere? Weren't you at the Home Depot? No... that was someone else. Wait... AREN'T YOU A PRO-WRESTLER?

The man stands there awkwardly, not understanding a word this strangely dressed American is saying to him. He scratches his head and responds to the gringo.

Taco Stand Man:
Lo siento, señor, que no hablan Inglés.

Ringo's brilliant smile faults for a second, before becoming even brighter than ever.

Ringo McGazzler:
Wait! You must not speak English! PERFECT TIME TO SEE IF I REMEMBER HIGH SCHOOL SPANISH. Okay. Um. Lemmie think... ¿Cuánto cuesta una mamada costo?

The man covers his mouth, shocked at the nerve of this man. He ponders calling the police, but remembers they'd probably ask for his green card, which he did not have. He got smuggled over here by his cousin, Perro, who he looked a lot alike. He then shoos Ringo away, who just smiles and nods.

Ringo hops on his new bike and waves to the man, before riding off into the sunset... but he crashes into Phillip Phillips. After laying on his stomach for a moment, Ringo pops up, and extends his hand to the fallen man...

TBC: Phillip Phillips