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 I Wanna Be the Very Best, Like No One Ever Was...

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"Wacky" Wilmer Patacky
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Posts : 14
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Join date : 2012-05-26
Age : 28
Status : Playing with action figures. THEY ARE NOT DOLLS!

PostSubject: I Wanna Be the Very Best, Like No One Ever Was...   Fri Jun 15, 2012 8:48 pm

The scene would open up as Wilmer Patacky and Blaze Griffin stood in the ring. Wilmer was wearing his usual wrestling attire. Wrestling shorts similar to that worn by Brian Kendrick and Paul London when they teamed together. They were yellow and orange, however. Orange on the groin/buttocks/thigh areas, and yellow on the outer area. On the back across the ass it read "The Wack One." On his feet were jester-type wrestling boots where the toe curled up. They were yellow with orange laces and "WP" in bold orange font on the outer side of each boot. He also wore yellow and orange bracers on his wrists. Since I don't really know much about Blaze's wrestling attire, let's just say he's in his original attire. Sound good? Good. The bell rang, as the two tied up. The match went back and forth, both using a lot of high-risk moves from the top rope or springboarding off the ropes. You know, a pretty good match between two technical high flyers. Blaze now had the upper hand, after hitting a running European uppercut. A signature move of his. He now lifted Wilmer up, looking to finish him off with the Blaze of Glory. However, Wilmer caught a second wind. He jumped up, and sent Blaze stumbling back into the ropes with a superkick out of nowhere! Blaze stumbled forward, dazed, as Wilmer kicked him in the gut. Wilmer then spun around to where his back was near the ropes, as he stuffed Blaze's head in between his legs. Wilmer balled his right hand nearly into a fist, as he pumped his hand back and forth above Blaze's back, mimicking the actions done to masturbate. He then proceeded to hook Blaze's arms and yelled out "MASTURBATION MAYHEM TIME!" Wilmer would then leap forward, flipping over Blaze. As his back crashed down onto the mat, he had bent his knees in as Blaze's back came crashing down onto them. The momentum and force of the impact caused Blaze's body to launch a few feet up into the air before crashing back down onto the mat. Wilmer then made the quick cover, as the referee counted 1...2...3! Wilmer jumped to his feet and began to celebrate...

The camera man Greg, sighed to himself...why was he stuck having to film this weirdo's promos? He had been standing there watching Wilmer playing with action figures...he had his own action figure, and one he had found of Blaze Griffin. Greg could only guess this is how Wilmer saw the match going down tomorrow night. Wilmer gave a double thumbs up to Greg, as he hopped up to his feet.

"Wacky" Wilmer Patacky
Did you see that, George? Pretty flippin' sweet, ain't it? I HAVE MY OWN WARFARE ENTERTAINMENT WRESTLING ACTION FIGURE! I can add it to my collection now...I love it! Anyways, what's been up, mang!? I only see you whenever I shoot my promos...

Greg simply shook his head a bit, and motioned that he was recording. Wilmer, who was wearing a pair of yellow denim cut-off shorts and an orange tanktop with matching flip-flops, stood there...waiting for an answer. Greg once again sighed to himself, as he thought to himself...how the hell did this guy win his match last week?

Greg the Camera Man
Because I don't get paid to be your friend, I get paid to record your promos. Can we get to that part, already? I have a date tonight, and I'd like to get ready for that...

Wilmer flashed a big smile at Greg after this was said, and rubbed his palms together.

"Wacky" Wilmer Patacky
Oh, snap! My man Geo...oh, that says Greg. My man Greg! Gonna get himself some action tonight! Just like I did about fifteen minutes ago! And an hour before that! And thirty minutes before that! And...well, yeah. I gotta keep my stamina up somehow, right? YouknowwhatIsayin'!?

Greg just nodded, obviously annoyed by Wilmer. Yet, Wilmer just played it off as if they were friends. Greg sure hoped he was getting a raise after having to deal with this nutjob again. Wilmer dropped his arms to his side, and begin to speak again.

"Wacky" Wilmer Patacky
Okay, so I'm facing Blaze Griffin this week right before the main event. It's quite an honor. I mean, seeing as how I was in the first match last week...this is a big deal to me. Now, first off...you have a pretty effing sweet name, mang. Not sure about you, but I sure do like to blaze it up every once in a while when I'm not competing. Secondly, thanks...I'd like to think of myself as a pretty smexy wrestler who knows what he's doing in the ring, not just in the sack. Now...you say you watched my match, complemented me on my wrestling ability as well as seeing that I truly am "The Wacky One." I'm looking forward to stepping into the ring with you tomorrow night, Blaze. I'm sure we'll set the standards up pretty high right before the main event. We'll keep the crowd on their feet with our fast-paced wrestling styles...see, I did my homework. Because, I may be a wacky guy...but wrestling? I may have a funny way of showing it, but when it comes to wrestling...I take this shiz seriously. Like my style or not, I do what I can to keep the people entertained, the ladies undergarments damp, and the men a good show so that they don't get mad when they find me in the bathroom with their girlfriend afterwards. I plan on keeping my undefeated streak alive. So, you say I'm going to need good luck? I'm sorry, Blaze...but I don't believe in luck. I've got all the skill and stamina I need to beat anyone...and I mean anyone...in this business. I'm a woman pleaser, snot sneezer, and even been told that I'm a cock teaser. Sorry guys, but I don't swing that way...you can look, but I'm not into the whole sword fighting thing. Anyways...I am also one hundred, seventy-five pounds of excellence in the ring. Three others got a taste of it last week...and you will get a taste of it this week. But, you seem like a cool guy. Afterwards, if you're not a sore loser...maybe we could go to a club and pick up some ladies. Or, you know...I can go without a wing man. Whatever's fine with me. Either way, I know I'll be celebrating another victory tonight. Sorry about your debut, Blaze. It's just not going to be as spectacular as mine was. Better luck next week, right?

With that, Wilmer flashed another double thumbs up before turning around as a beautiful blonde then walked up to him and kissed him. The camera nearly slid off of Greg's shoulder, as he stared at the two, his jaw hanging wide open.

Greg the Camera Man
Ash...Ashley!? What the fuck!? We're supposed to be going on a date in an hour!

Wilmer's eyes widened, as the woman apparently named Ashley stared at Greg, shocked. BUSTED! The scene faded to black as Greg stormed off, shaking his head in anger.
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