The Mad Queen

BEFORE THE PROMO STARTS: THIS IS FOR HELENA. I CANNOT MAKE A NEW ACCOUNT FOR HER



As the strange new music plays, the spotlights turn to the stage and await the newest Anarchy Wrestling Organization Siren. She faces off against Katey Stellar this week, and the stakes are high for a revamped Siren's division's first generation of competitors. Each match counts, each victory means getting one step closer to glory. And here she is, finally making her debut... HELENA!



The greatest female gaijin wrestler of all time makes her way to the ring, with multiple championships from around the world around her waist and on her shoulders. Each one emblazoned with the insignia of a rival promotion, this woman is a legend in her own right. And now she's here, in AWO, and is looking to make even MORE of an impact! She beckons for a microphone after reaching the ring, and begins to speak.

The Sirens have been dead for a long... long... LONG time now. Driven out by the egos of those in charge, and by their own lack of talent, woman after woman has forfeited her contract with this company. There isn't even a Siren's championship any more! It's a sad, sad day for women's wrestling when one of the largest federations around can't even be bothered to have a championship for women. Unfortunately for people like Damon Moore, I'm not Rose London. I won't suck cock to get a cushy job, and I won't settle for anything less than the best. I'm a better wrestler than most of the men on the roster, and I am going to PROVE it.

This week, I face Katey Stellar. I know nothing about this woman, and as is my right I do not give a damn about her either. I am going to kick her in the head so hard she'll wish that she's dead, I'll laugh in her face as I smash my boot into it, I'll make her scream with an inverted cloverleaf, and I'll break her ****ing neck with the Kawada Driver. Because I'm here for one reason, and one reason only: to add to my collections. My collection of beaten and broken opponents, my collection of impressive victories, and most importantly, my collection of championships.

And you see, that's where the problem lies. With no Siren's championship, I have no reason to be competing with Katey Stellar. Now, that isn't a problem with ME. No, that's a problem with the male champions of this federation. Because I'm more than willing to get into the ring, and to snap Xavier Serikaz in half just like his undefeated streak. When all is said and done, I'm going to hold more championships than anybody else in the history of AWO and I'm going to do it with broken bones, chipped teeth, and spilled blood. And this week, those bones, those teeth, that blood, they're Katey Stellar's.

I'm the Mad Queen of pro wrestling, and the greatest wrestler alive today, man or woman. And if you don't believe me, then you can step in this ring yourself.

Helena drops the microphone, and holds two of her championships high above her head. She smiles, and walks back up the ramp. We take you now, live, to "John Cullihan's Cooking Extravaganza."